If you enjoy mindless plots and absent character development, then this movie is for you. The two main characters, William and Luke, are hitchhiking across a desert, when they are picked up an old man in a shitty little car. The driver turns out to be a serial murderer, who intends our unsuspecting characters to be his next victim. All this was established in approximately the first 4 lines of dialog in the movie. What William and Luke didn't expect was to be rescued by a man named Joe. Joe has 3 lines of dialog, finds the characters driving through the desert, kills the murderer and takes the Will and Luke to a local bar, all this appearing normal for the characters, as if they were expecting to be rescued by a man named Joe.
During this whole fiasco, two other characters hit the road to kill as many people as they can. This was done to appease their master named Togaio, who is a vampire, zombie, or demon (this was never clarified). Apparently there was no room in the script for one line to specify the nature of the enemy. Long story short, the minions murder several people, but they do give their victims the option of how they are going to die. These people are murdered so that they may serve the legion, which is Togaio's private army of demon/vampire/zombies. I guess the best way to get someone to serve you is to kill them, never would have thought. Eventually the legion is built up, and then sent to assault a bar in a small desert town.
Back at the bar, things are getting interesting. 5 hours after arriving at the establishment, William has established a loving relationship with Geena, a bar server who has a nasty little secret. Luke is also having a wonderful time. Luke approaches a female patron and asks for a quick screw, she then commence to kick the crap out of him (well, she should have... she really just scares the crap out him). Geena then introduces William and Luke to a few couples from Germany. They all become close friends after 0 lines of dialog. All is normal until the demon/vampire/zombies start attacking the bar customers; Geena quelled this attack down. Geena belongs to the same group as Togaio, but she is not evil.
Togaio, having released his army on the establishment, gives the remaining customers an ultimatum. The remaining customers are given the option of living if they give up Geena to Togaio, who is in love with her. For some strange reason, they do not take him up on this offer, instead they systematically kill each other during the 10 minutes for which they stand around, and these 10 minutes make up 2 hours in the movie. Here is a simple explanation of the last few scenes of the movie:
Remaining customers: 8
Geena turns German friend into demon/vampire.
Demon/vampire kills his girl friend in a fit of rage; he also scratches female friend on the arm.
Demon/vampire having gained his senses kills himself.
Remaining customers: 6
Some guy walks out into the darkness and is immediately killed.
Remaining customers: 5
Scratched female turns into a demon/vampire and tries to kill her boyfriend. *
Someone kills her.
Remaining customers: 4
Group forms a human chain to look out front door.
Luke disappears, and William is injured.
Unnamed German friend is also missing, presumed dead.
Remaining customers: 2
Togaio then walks into the bar, smiles and struts a little bit.
Geena kills Togaio with a weird sword/syringe needle.
All is well.
Then the plot is completely abandoned, as the last half of the movie is ignored; William and Luke are last seen hitchhiking through the desert. I loathe this movie, I hope I never see it again.
Year: 2000
Country: Germany
Length: 89 minutes
Studio/distributor: Artisan
Rated: R for violence, language, drug use and some nudity.
Director: Olaf Ittenbach
Cast: Michael Carr III, Russel Friedenberg, Kimberly Liebe, Mathaias Hues, Hank Stone, Harvey J. Alperin, Christopher Kriesa, Darren Shahlavi, Joe Cook II, Jay Harik, Morgan Hunter I, Chin Meyer, Jeff Motherhead, Andrea Seitz, Birgit Stauber
Rank: 1/5
Comments: At least there was blood shed.
*At this point in the movie the details become sketchy, because of loss of interest and loss of plot.
Friday, January 30, 2004
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Student hounded for his views.
Incident: A California high school student recently called for the government to uphold the immigration laws of the state and the nation.
The Result: Student is hounded by fellow students, and shunned by teachers.
Click here for the full story.
Everyone knows that federal law disallows the illegal immigration of anyone from any nation; and the government has set fair methods to immigrate legally. Why is it that people are insulted and threatened when they ask for the laws to be enforced? Well, some people are lazy. Liberals would find it much easier to just sit back and let the nation swell beyond our resources. Infact some liberals are elected solely on the promise of giving licenses to illegals. They simply don't wish to spend the necessary time and money in rooting out illegal immigrants and sending them home. They don't belong here. They are not citizens.
The Result: Student is hounded by fellow students, and shunned by teachers.
Click here for the full story.
Everyone knows that federal law disallows the illegal immigration of anyone from any nation; and the government has set fair methods to immigrate legally. Why is it that people are insulted and threatened when they ask for the laws to be enforced? Well, some people are lazy. Liberals would find it much easier to just sit back and let the nation swell beyond our resources. Infact some liberals are elected solely on the promise of giving licenses to illegals. They simply don't wish to spend the necessary time and money in rooting out illegal immigrants and sending them home. They don't belong here. They are not citizens.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Fun Little Halloween Trick :-)
A few years ago there was a little known product as Gak. Gak was a polymer which came in several colors, it was gooey, it was slimy and kids went absolute ape-shit over it. The best part about Gak is that it is very easy to make.
Get the following household items:
-plastic bag
-several spoonfuls of cornstarch
-a couple spoonfuls of corn syrup
-an eye dropper
-water (not to much or it will be very slimy)
-food coloring (for color; I suggest green)
Directions:
-Put the cornstarch in the plastic bag.
-Add the water, food coloring and corn syrup.
-Close the bag, and shake the bag well.
-Voila! Gak!!!!
Use less water for a thicker mix or add more for a slimier mix. Great at a trick to show kids. If you have any plastic skulls laying around, use red food coloring and just a little bit of water.... make a gooey gak brain! -----
Get the following household items:
-plastic bag
-several spoonfuls of cornstarch
-a couple spoonfuls of corn syrup
-an eye dropper
-water (not to much or it will be very slimy)
-food coloring (for color; I suggest green)
Directions:
-Put the cornstarch in the plastic bag.
-Add the water, food coloring and corn syrup.
-Close the bag, and shake the bag well.
-Voila! Gak!!!!
Use less water for a thicker mix or add more for a slimier mix. Great at a trick to show kids. If you have any plastic skulls laying around, use red food coloring and just a little bit of water.... make a gooey gak brain! -----
Saturday, June 28, 2003
Current Project: New Pc
Im beginning to build my new computer...
Motherboard/Cpu/Fan 2.4ghz
Hard Drive 80 gigabytes
Graphics card 128megs Geforce3
modem 56k v90 10/1000 card
Case
12 x max dvd-rom drive
12 x max Cdr/rw
floppy
2x 512 pc1333 ram
internal 250 zip drive ide
Here is the Case
Thursday, June 05, 2003
*Mumble/Groan*
Hangover Emergency Cure:
1. Take 2 aspirins
2. Take 200mg cysteine (available at specialty food stores)
3. Take 600mg vitamin C
4. Take 1 tablet vitamin B-complex
5. Mix the following ingredients together in a blender:
- 1 banana
- 1 small can V-8
- 6 large strawberries
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1 cup orange juice
- 1-2 cups milk (or soy milk), to desired consistency
- ¼ tsp. salt
- dash of nutmeg
6. Drink it all up.
Oh yea... and I graduation from high school. congrats to me.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Its been a slow week.
In a surprise announcement this morning, it was revealed that the Meek have inherited the Earth. The actual change of ownership itself happened three weeks ago, but the spokesperson for the Meek was too shy to contact the press. After much polite cajoling from fellow Meek Persons, the fulfilment of this ancient prophecy has finally come to pass.
A representative for the Meek gave us these comments - "As you know, the Earth was promised to us almost 2000 years ago by Jesus Christ himself, during his famous Sermon on the Mount. We have been Blessed for all that time, which was quite nice, but simply had to wait for the momentous event itself. The Earth and all it contains now belongs to us. By Divine Command, we Meek have absolute domination over the planet. We hope you don't mind". Blushing, she continued, "I know it's a bit of a big change, but it's really out of our hands. It's all a bit embarrassing actually".
The process of democracy has been rewritten to ensure that only the modest and passive are able to vote or run for public office. The first hiccup in this new system was caused when it turned out that no Meek people were planning to come forward as candidates. The most common reasons cited were "not wanting to cause a fuss" and "who would want to vote for someone like me anyway?". Assertive and confident candidates may have to be found in the meantime, until a truly Meek government can be formed.
Now that the Meek have inherited the Earth, what are they going to do with it? The Meek Affairs correspondent from The Times gave us this view : "The Meek have some very good ideas about tackling global problems. Unfortunately, very few of them are prepared to present these ideas to the international community, and when they do they tend to mumble so quietly that nobody can understand what they are saying. They really need to get assistance from some loud and pushy people, otherwise the fact that they are now the rulers of the globe is, frankly, going to pass completely unnoticed. The Meek need to stop being so acquiescent and submissive and get out there and kick some butt! Put plainly, they need to stop being so damned meek."
President Bill Clinton has already announced that he will be stepping down, to make way for the new Meek President, one Wilbur Cartwright. President Cartwright, described by his neighbours as "Nice and quiet, in an introverted and spineless sort of way", has used his first public statement to apologise to the United Nations for messing up their schedules, whilst shuffling nervously from foot to foot. The "Reluctant Dictator", as the press have dubbed him, is planning to run the affairs of state from his two-room apartment on the fifth floor of his cityblock, as the White House is "too grand for the likes of me". He has stated that he intends to have a telephone line installed in the near future.
When asked what their plans for the Earth are, the Meek are said to have timidly replied, "Umm.. we don't really know. What do you think we should do?"
News of the Inheritance is reported to have slightly raised the spirits of The Poor In Spirit. However, they are trying to remain as poor in spirit as possible, otherwise theirs will not be the kingdom of heaven.
A representative for the Meek gave us these comments - "As you know, the Earth was promised to us almost 2000 years ago by Jesus Christ himself, during his famous Sermon on the Mount. We have been Blessed for all that time, which was quite nice, but simply had to wait for the momentous event itself. The Earth and all it contains now belongs to us. By Divine Command, we Meek have absolute domination over the planet. We hope you don't mind". Blushing, she continued, "I know it's a bit of a big change, but it's really out of our hands. It's all a bit embarrassing actually".
The process of democracy has been rewritten to ensure that only the modest and passive are able to vote or run for public office. The first hiccup in this new system was caused when it turned out that no Meek people were planning to come forward as candidates. The most common reasons cited were "not wanting to cause a fuss" and "who would want to vote for someone like me anyway?". Assertive and confident candidates may have to be found in the meantime, until a truly Meek government can be formed.
Now that the Meek have inherited the Earth, what are they going to do with it? The Meek Affairs correspondent from The Times gave us this view : "The Meek have some very good ideas about tackling global problems. Unfortunately, very few of them are prepared to present these ideas to the international community, and when they do they tend to mumble so quietly that nobody can understand what they are saying. They really need to get assistance from some loud and pushy people, otherwise the fact that they are now the rulers of the globe is, frankly, going to pass completely unnoticed. The Meek need to stop being so acquiescent and submissive and get out there and kick some butt! Put plainly, they need to stop being so damned meek."
President Bill Clinton has already announced that he will be stepping down, to make way for the new Meek President, one Wilbur Cartwright. President Cartwright, described by his neighbours as "Nice and quiet, in an introverted and spineless sort of way", has used his first public statement to apologise to the United Nations for messing up their schedules, whilst shuffling nervously from foot to foot. The "Reluctant Dictator", as the press have dubbed him, is planning to run the affairs of state from his two-room apartment on the fifth floor of his cityblock, as the White House is "too grand for the likes of me". He has stated that he intends to have a telephone line installed in the near future.
When asked what their plans for the Earth are, the Meek are said to have timidly replied, "Umm.. we don't really know. What do you think we should do?"
News of the Inheritance is reported to have slightly raised the spirits of The Poor In Spirit. However, they are trying to remain as poor in spirit as possible, otherwise theirs will not be the kingdom of heaven.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Wednesday, April 18, 1984
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Content Policy:
This website is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, as such it may contain some content which may be offensive. However offensive this site may seem, I will not knowingly post content that is illegal. If posted content is later determined to be illegal or in violation of Blogger's Content Policy, said content will be removed. That being said, I am responsible for the content on this website, nobody else posts content here. If, for some reason, my account is somehow vandalized or compromised, I will make my best effort to fix any problems, but I am not a miracle worker. I will not harass or threaten others and I will definitely not conspire to cause harm to others.
Copyright Policy:
I will not knowingly post content in violation of copyright laws, however I am familiar with the concept of fair use which allows the use of material for the purposes of "...criticism, comment, news reporting..." among other purposes, which is what this site is all about. If a copyright holder find their content on this site and wishes it to be removed, please use the contact form, which is linked to at the top and bottom of the page. Content original to this website is released under a creative commons license.
Comment Policy:
Anonymous comments are permitted, but all comments are moderated for content. Comments may be ignored or deleted for a variety of reasons, in the end it is my choice on whether to allow such contents or not. Trolls and other such online cryptids will be ignored.
Contact Policy:
Reasonable efforts will be made to address concerns and respond to questions, comments and concerns which are sent to me. Contacting me can be accomplished by clicking the contact link at the top and bottom of the page. All legal, media and general comments can be sent via the contact form. If you do sent a contact, please be concise and clear about which are contacting me.
General Policy:
You are free to link to my site, you can also use content original to this site, so long as you adhere to the license described above.
Contact
There are two available option if you wish to contact me. You can email me at this address or you can use the following comment form.
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