Friday, August 25, 2006

Pluto is a planet, regardless of what they say.

I grew up with the understanding that Pluto was a planet, but now that has changed, mainly due to an arbitrary decision to alter the definition of what a planet is. This decision was made by a group of scientists known as the International Astronomical Union, a group that has been granted the authority to name planets, stars and other celestial bodies. Basically these are grown men who read fantasy novels and name dots in the sky 'xena' and other such nonsense, all the while the objects they name remain to be nothing more than chunks of rock and gas suspended in the wideness of space. Does the number of planets really matter? not really; but what does matter is one little object of popular culture and a really nifty teaching aid:

My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pies

If she can't serve us pies, what will she serve us?

Are we to assume that she is serving merely nine persons? What if you are on a baseball team? Will the five other players just have to go home? Or the six if this is a major league team. That certainly doesn't seem fair to the excluded team mates? And what does that do for team morale? How is a successful season supposed to take place if the team is pitted against one another over who gets served by the obviously intelligent mother?

What will the other solar systems think when they hear we are excluding a planet due to its size? They just might cease their probing and that's terrible for our super market tabloid business.

I tell you, nothing good will come from this decision.